ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
I refuse to apologize. Any dick that comes that close to my face uninvited is gonna get bit
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
