We stole some shitttt from king sooper's. fuck yeaaa
what did you steal
frozen pizza, cat litter, and preperation H. not much different than my usual grocery list.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
U thinks that's bad? He told me that he had to envision high school wrestling in order to bust a nut with some girl
YOU LET ME GO HOME WITH CREEPY RON JEREMY?!?
...and?
I hate when you're right.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I was going to say "wearing plaid doesn't make you gay, I wear plaid!" but then... heavy sigh
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Apparently I have a "problem" because I enjoy doing bong rips in the shower
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
