hey remember that time we got really drunk, you tried to find narnia in my refrigerator and passed out in the freezer drawer??
no.
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
Out of ice. Vodka+club soda+cut up lime popscicle=I'm an alcoholic genius.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
is it possible i asked you to give me a preliminary pap smear?
And then I passed out in my towel and was woken up by my roommate introducing me to her trick for the night.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
Some guys phone started vibrating on the tv. I answered mine. That's how high I am.
my life is turning into trapped in the closet at way too fast a speed for me to feel comfortable.
If we had a dog do you think we would be less hoe-y?
Nah
Randomize
