I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
he thinks im joking when i say don't visit. i mean it's summer...he was the college fuck and now it's time for the summer fuck
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
How creepy of a mustache can you grow by wednesday night?
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Aww you are cute. With your penis. And failures.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
Also the bouncer Straight up told me my id was shitty and I should get a new one. But he let me in anyways because #boobz
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Also. I think I just got sentimental over a nude
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
Apparently the cops had to handcuff me in order to get me to come with to the hospital with them. They asked me if I had had any experience with handcuffs before and I replied, "Only in bed." What a life
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
Randomize
