We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
The beer is more important than you right now.
I woke up pulling sunflower seeds out of my vagina. That kind of night.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
ever have one of those nights where you feel like you should leave the house with your insurance card? that is tonight, my friend.
That's true. There's really no bad time to take a Vicodin.
It is the Reeses peanut butter cup of pharmaceuticals.
I think I just asked the Greek gyro guy on a yoga date.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
Whiskey dick has taught us to be smart with our time.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
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