I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
so last night my mother drunkenly told me that maybe the reason why I want to be a vet was because I was conceived doggy style.
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Great. My funeral dress now smells of smoke and disappointing sex.
Found your dick twin last night
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
Randomize
