Remember ______, girl, blonde, one of my roommates the first year of ________?
Yeah we hooked up in the top bunk bed while simultaneously having a conversation with u, so yeah, I remember her
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
do you still have a key to my apartment? Without going into too much detail locked myself out naked on the patio, currently using a deck cushion to cover myself so kids walking home from school dont see me
i love when the champions come out to play im bringin the shock collar this weekend
She was purple for Halloween. She literally spray-painted herself purple and called it a costume. It won't come off.
Come to office depot with me I need help picking out a daily planner that will help me keep all of my casual sex dates organized.
Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick
Dad's teaching me to make moonshine this weekend as "college prep". How scared should I be sis?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
My ex's sister asked me to be her date to Thanksgiving. Should I go?
Threesome!
She’s the kind of asshole whose face I want to put on a T-shirt just so I can go outside and burn it.
Randomize
