Texts From Last Night

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  (216): View more from Ohio

  you turned your livingroom into a bong?

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  (216): you turned your livingroom into a bong? http://tfl.nu/pj3a
  Replies (27) Good night (4574) Bad night (708)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster

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  (905): the bouncer made me realize that puking in line does not get you in any faster http://tfl.nu/r7o9
  Replies (3) Good night (814) Bad night (3836)
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  (519): View more from Ontario

  mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing

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  (519): mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing http://tfl.nu/5ec7
  Replies (7) Good night (4042) Bad night (1168)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..."

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  (602): The last memory I have is vomiting into a box and her rubbing my back saying "you are such a trooper..." http://tfl.nu/m7yq
  Replies (12) Good night (3486) Bad night (1266)
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  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober

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  (608): so i finally decided to ask her out. she started mumbling, then she puked on me. i think i'll try again when she's sober http://tfl.nu/y352
  Replies (6) Good night (1017) Bad night (3562)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in.

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  (410): She is banging on the liquor store door begging them to let her come in. http://tfl.nu/drz3
  Replies (6) Good night (1582) Bad night (804)
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  (518): View more from New York

  Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that

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  (518): Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that http://tfl.nu/9wbc
  Replies (2) Good night (952) Bad night (545)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever.

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  (937): Honestly I miss having a gay roommate. His female friends' implicit trust in him would carry over to me even though they knew Im straight. Best unintentional wingman ever. http://tfl.nu/8uev
  Replies (7) Good night (2963) Bad night (866)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud.

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  (816): The Blue Grotto manager called. He asked me for your name and number. Apparently, on reviewing the videotape he noticed you consumed a whole pizza by yourself. He indicated that he has a tshirt for you and wants to put your picture on his eating wall of fame. Apparently, you are the first such person to complete this incredible feat of eating. Congratulations to you!! I am so proud. http://tfl.nu/cdmp
  Replies (5) Good night (2927) Bad night (491)
• Favorite

  (765): View more from Indiana

  So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.

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  (765): So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30. http://tfl.nu/7nzj
  Replies (3) Good night (669) Bad night (666)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  Just pee around me

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  (828): Just pee around me http://tfl.nu/21pc
  Replies (6) Good night (407) Bad night (660)
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  (906): View more from Michigan

  My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow.

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  (906): My life is a clusterfuck of men and disorderly priorities right meow. http://tfl.nu/cu71
  Replies (3) Good night (681) Bad night (399)
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  (479): View more from Arkansas

  Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?

  (1-479): View more from Arkansas

  Tequila.

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  (479): Know anything about my roof collapsing last night? (1-479): Tequila. http://tfl.nu/3wq7
  Replies (0) Good night (766) Bad night (392)
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  (+44): View more from United Kingdom

  i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage.

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  (+44): i just got referred to as "the Loch Ness Cockster". God bless my Scottish heritage. http://tfl.nu/jfp9
  Replies (1) Good night (767) Bad night (357)
• Favorite

  (563): View more from Iowa

  Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?

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  (563): Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex? http://tfl.nu/yp18
  Replies (5) Good night (700) Bad night (309)

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