just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
hot mess party of 2 ur bar is now available
That level of neurosis does not find love outside of Grey's Anatomy.
Every one of her profile pictures looks like an ad for American Apparel. Of course she has syphilis.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Clearly my hormones are sending beaming lights to every penis in the area
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Just paid for my STD meds using a giftcard I got for Christmas. Thanks mom.