Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
She told me I was only the second guy she slept with. I told her she was only my second Megan.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
What's the right thing to say when he sends me a picture of his penis ?
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
Randomize
