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Having dinner with my dad, watching the news and some AIDS prevention ad comes on. My dad then kindly informs me that he doesn't enjoy the feel of condoms.
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
I don't think you'd be able to understand Inception if you weren't high...
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
im failing my bio class b/c he booty calls me wednesday nights at 6 like clockwork
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
i love that youre following in my footsteps.. pissing yourself on your birthday is an honor and a privlege
Did you just buzz the apartment and throw shit at the window? Josh and rob came into my room and woke me up
Fuck you Ian. U owe me $3.65 cuz thasts what I thfrew at ur window trying to wake ur ass up. And fuck u for not giving a shit
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
is one penis in the hand worth one better nicer penis in the manscaped bush?
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