he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
She was raised with a wonderful home life. I can't do anything with that.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
Have you asked your drug dealer if he wants to see harry potter with you?
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
LOOK, I was 19, and I made a lot of choices with my crotch which I'm weirdly proud of
Yes dear.
Terrible idea I love it
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
Randomize
