Just got booted from water taxi for showing my balls to a security guard.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
you looked at me, pointed to a car and silently said "the elephant parks here".
No it was after you showed us his fraternaty letters shaven out of your pubes
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
You were just so carefree! People were like, "there's broken glass everywhere" and you were just like, IDGAFFFFFFF
I woke up with my earring stuck inbetween my tits. Somehow you fucked my earring out and my boobs saved it. I'm pretty impressed with both of us right now.
After my second liter of German beer, nothing D-cup or larger is safe near me.
If a guy makes a dick joke within 24 hrs of matching am I just setting myself up for disaster if I say yes to a date lol
Randomize
