Texts From Last Night

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  (856): View more from New Jersey

  I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.

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  (856): I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full. http://tfl.nu/pi6t
  Replies (106) Good night (5366) Bad night (938)
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  (847): View more from Illinois

  everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.

  (224): View more from Illinois

  it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.

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  (847): everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool. (224): it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you. http://tfl.nu/qam8
  Replies (24) Good night (731) Bad night (3597)
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  (260): View more from Indiana

  How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?

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  (260): How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content? http://tfl.nu/u3hm
  Replies (8) Good night (2685) Bad night (1250)
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  (217): View more from Illinois

  he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids

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  (217): he prob just wants to be friends and here i am photoshopping our kids http://tfl.nu/l2up
  Replies (12) Good night (1106) Bad night (4515)
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  (254): View more from Texas

  There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator

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  (254): There's somethin not right about having to take the batteries out of your 27 year old boyfriends gameboy to use in your vibrator http://tfl.nu/goje
  Replies (18) Good night (2558) Bad night (1510)
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  (403): View more from Alberta, CA

  Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally

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  (403): Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally http://tfl.nu/hf6w
  Replies (1) Good night (1639) Bad night (622)
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  (314): View more from Missouri

  She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?

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  (314): She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her? http://tfl.nu/5dev
  Replies (18) Good night (3004) Bad night (641)
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  (602): View more from Arizona

  Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.

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  (602): Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility. http://tfl.nu/8fpl
  Replies (2) Good night (609) Bad night (1030)
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  (909): View more from California

  We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.

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  (909): We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic. http://tfl.nu/24xb
  Replies (2) Good night (1084) Bad night (531)
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  (908): View more from New Jersey

  how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency?

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  (908): how much ball-pain constitutes an emergency? http://tfl.nu/6372
  Replies (7) Good night (376) Bad night (1190)
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  (973): View more from New Jersey

  Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.

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  (973): Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical. http://tfl.nu/hbh3
  Replies (9) Good night (2019) Bad night (498)
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  (208): View more from Idaho

  Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.

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  (208): Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia. http://tfl.nu/c7aa
  Replies (2) Good night (416) Bad night (1290)
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  (815): View more from Illinois

  When did angry sex become our thing?

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  (815): When did angry sex become our thing? http://tfl.nu/g3vv
  Replies (3) Good night (768) Bad night (287)
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  (613): View more from Ontario

  Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived.

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  (613): Start warming up your vocal cords, because Fucking With The Windows Open season has arrived. http://tfl.nu/meie
  Replies (5) Good night (1449) Bad night (318)
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  (616): View more from Michigan

  If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine.

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  (616): If I learned anything from that one time I saw the last 10 minutes of oprah when they talked about the secret, it is that you project what you receive back. I also have wine. http://tfl.nu/wf47
  Replies (2) Good night (420) Bad night (333)

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