oh my she just said cum sticks to her dentures so when she blows if they let her she takes them out
its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
she walked in on me snorting my prozac. there was no way to convince her i was doing a good thing.
Hurricane Sex Time is the only thing iv said since it started.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
So it was all good until she started grabbing my beard and telling me to "roar little lion"
Can I get high for this class every tuesday? Its like a multi-sensory carnival acid trip.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
I'm alone, 3 beers in, and cutting tshirts into belly tops.
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