I made her dinner: Beefaroni with grated parmesan cheese on top. Luckily she showed up drunk and gave me head, "For spending so much time preparing."
She's like a pop up book from hell.
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
he kept doing his monologue, "if a vagina could talk."
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We'll just play it by vagina and see where it leads us
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
I wonder how many people I can tell that he has one nut before he finds out it's me spreading it.
The number of threesomes I have agreed to seems to increase every time I talk to you drunk...
I am NOT losing my v-card to a guy who doesn't know my ass from my elbow.
Randomize
