it really sends the message that i like to impregnate mortal women and have them birth fantastic half man-half god infants.
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
No. I remember how loud you used to get. Trust me.
i cant text you anymore tonight, God gave me two hands for two cups
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
the only things my left hand does: catch/hold things and masturbation.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
If by whore you mean UPGRADE....then yes I am
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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