i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
he legitimately fell asleep standing up at the club. everyone was impressed
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
apparently putting your t-shirt on your head with a bottle of captain and telling girls your the pirate king of tallahassee doesn't work
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Do u believe in the possibility of big foot?
You high??
Randomize
