so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
Playing a game in life called "how far can I make a man travel for a booty call"
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just say the word and u can be elbow deep in this glorious rack
This is why I love you...
My doctor was like "I think adderall is a great choice. It'll definitely benefit you and you say you've taken it before so you'll be fine!" \nAnd I was like "yeah bro, totally"
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
I signed the divorce papers. Can I get a blowjob now?
Randomize