Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
I just made kick ass drunk stir fry while taking care of three other drunk people and doing shots. I don't understand how that's not wife material
It's getting harder and harder to fake orgasms as I get older.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Update: I spent 10 minutes trying to fish out a rogue vagina weight.
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