...so i touched it.
no i did not stop my best friend from eating out my sister...bros before hoes
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
I don't remember how we paid for the cab. I do however remember giving him my heels 2 help with the bill.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
I'm your Election Erection Connection
I retroactively revoke all sex we've ever had.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Apparently when cookies are around I think of myself as a puppy and reward myself for everything #WhoIsAGoodBoy
All I want is dick and wine.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
Yeah I know my dick is weird, but I've surprisingly had a lot of fun with it.
Dear god my vagina.
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