...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
i lost virginity while listening to candy shop. something in my life has finally gone right.
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
"Just cut me in half. Then take half of me home. And leave the other half here. Cuz I can't see."
I woke up this morning with a sharpie tramp stamp. Pretty sure it's a picture of a squirrel.
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
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