She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
I need to wash the frat house off of me
Randomize
