i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
sarcasm needs its own font
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
You seriously need to keep doing my sexting for me. I just said something about "riding cock like a dick rodeo"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
obviously my window is still shattered. they're pressure washing my condo today. i think i need a bloody mary.
It's only slutty if you don't have his number. Unless there's a full moon. Then anything goes.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
just realized we fucked to the ultimate disney playlist last night. hakuna matata.
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
Randomize
