Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
He came up there while i was bartending, ate a salad, told me he wanted to divorce me, then tipped me 10 dollars....
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
U handed him a box of flavored condoms, winked, and slurred, "grape juice is her favorite."
In all fairness I didnt see your dick because it was already in her
Please. Last time I saw him I awkwardly pulled his rat tail until it got too weird
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I just spent 20 mins in the shower washing n rewashing my body to get rid of stripper. I even loofa'd my face.
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
Sorry for throwing up in your humidifier last night, I thought it was some sort of electrical garbage can
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I just got a handjob in the back of an Uber while a large German dude and a Midwestern fuck-boi sang along in falsetto to the Bohemian Rhapsody.
Randomize
