Grow some girl-balls and come out already
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
This shit I'm taking feels like I've eaten every burrito in the world and chased that with an aquarium of hot sauce.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I mean, if there was a version of you with a penis, you'd fuck it...right? Like just outta curiosity at least
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
He gave me an orgasim so fantastic that I had an asthma attack.
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
Randomize
