just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
Urine might work for jellyfish stings, but we found out it doesn't work well for nose bleeds...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
Drank another frat president under the table. Thinking of starting my own, gonna call it Alpha Phi Alcoholics
It feels like I've shaved away my winter coat and my vagina is going to freeze if I go outside.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im positive, your name was on my abdomen, Im pretty sure thats solid evidence
yea last night was a repeat of newyears...exept this time it ivolved a fish costume, throw up, a hole in the roof, and cops...lots of cops
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
Think he has a gf
Yea that shit doesn’t necessarily stop me
He’s perfect! He listens to Genesis during sex and has a VW bus!
You really are from the panhandle, aren’t you?
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