Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
Goddamn it, are you fucking her sister?
did you know it's going to storm tonight?
You bitch. At least tell Laura she's a better kisser.
My T9 text prediction thing keeps predicting every next word is going to be "midgets".
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
I’ve slept with a Senior, a Freshman and a Junior so far. I’m a Sophomore away from hitting for the cycle
Randomize
