The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
I wonder if you can snort coke upside down
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
Yeah, oh and the story gets better. His friend was dressed as a christmas tree wrapped in twinkle lights and had to plug himself in the wall all night.
Well, I just puked in the shower in case anyone wants an update on how my day is going
Your heart isn't making stupid decisions... your penis is outsmarting your brain. Stop fucking her!
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