tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
found a dugout with weed in it in dad's car. decided to top up the weed compartment with salvia. for fun.
we are all sexual creatures
yea maybe. but you're not. you're not getting any.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
I had fun last year but I was one half of the hoe train back then. At least I'll feel better about myself as a person this year.
I'm going to miss going to the strip club though.
I'm currently sitting on the floor of a hostel reception area taking swigs of straight vodka, singing with people whose English doesn't go far beyond Lion King songs. I thought you might appreciate it.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
You wanna get laid? Be a female for once and stop bending nails to impress guys.
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
So this is what it's like to wake up with someone else's blood in your nose...
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
Randomize
