i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
I see you felt the need to carve your name in my kitchen table. thanks
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
I feel like I may be the only person who can say they crutched their walk of shame. past the secret service.
Once again I let my vagina make the decisions...that and vodka :(
Randomize
