READY
for what?
TO HAVE SEXXXX
i think you have the wrong number
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Woke up and there was a kayak in the pool. Are you alive?
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
Dude. You dropped to your knees and face planted into the rocks. And continued to talk on the phone and laugh. That's where those cuts came from.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
Good, be his mentor. Like a tiny gay Yoda.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
I am so not sober enough to have a 5 minute conversation in Spanish
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
Taking body shots off hot Camren. Get here now.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
Randomize
