Sometimes, when I'm driving alone I talk to myself in a Russian accent so I think it's my mommy and it calms me down.
i need gas-x and some way to take back every single thing i did last night.
you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
Pretty sure I'm going to hell because of our friendship
Last one there wins
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
considering I just took 3 shots of fireball I don't think I'm coming back tonight. also the hulk just walked in crushing beer cans on his forehead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got propositioned to get involved with an engaged couple. I told them I didn't think my married couple would like me to see other couples...
Don't trim your pubes if you've been drinking. I can't believe I have to tell you more than once.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
How many Hail Marys does a girl need to say to get some quality nudes?
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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