would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
He's only a freshman and he needs to expirence shit like that..
YOU would be the Freshman Expirence
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
Based on the grey fur I pulled from my teeth, I think her vagina has mice.
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
If I got everything I wanted in the world, I would have been forcing soup down your throat hours ago
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Kick open the door, strike a pose, steal a boyfriend, end scene.
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
