Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
I could've eaten a live cat and wouldn't remember it today. That level of drunk.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
Ok fine, yes she's pregnant. But you're ignoring the most important part. HER BOOBS GOT BIGGER. That doesn't happen every day, and I owe it to myself to enjoy those boobs before the belly catches up to them!
I went to a community college and majored in Bad Decisions. I'm not exactly a chick magnet.
Nothing like drunkenly buying a pregnancy test at 8 am to get out and realize your nip was out the whole time.
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
Did you guys just have three hour sex? You both stopped and restarted texting me at the same time
If I were to say yes, would we still be friends?
Randomize
