I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
just saw sorostitutes streaking near the university president's house. thank you tequila day
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
Moments after comforting her about her boyfriend issues I found myself in the other room showing him my tits.
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
Got a blowjob while watching James Bond's "Octopussy." My 13 year old self would be so proud
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
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