dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Never thought having a box of Cheerios could get me laid. My new lucky charm hello girl in 2B
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Would seriously like to slash his tires but then I feel like I'd have to deal with him longer.
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
In the morning when you read your texts, just fyi you showed up at my house drunk off your ass and shoe less and demanded I go to the bar. You need Jesus.
Dollars spent: $83, Girls kissed: 4, Girls slept with:2, Girls currently making me breakfast: 1, Fucks given: 0
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Randomize