I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
it will be a sad day when drinking racks of keystone isnt socially acceptable anymore
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
I walked into his living room and saw him watching the play-offs while eating tomato paste out of the can with a bottle of wine. I'm telling you to stop talking to him. now.
Oh, and for future reference, telling a guy that your ass is too tight for anal is like painting a bullseye on it.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
IM PICKING UP BLOW FOR US STOP WHINING ABOUT SEX
Mom just posted ur drunk pix from Cancun in the newly made "My not-so-fantastic son" album. Thought you should know.
If you want me to retract my crazy cat lady comments pictures of yourself dressed as a cat are not the way to do it.
you realize you insisted on them having a dance off to korean music to determine who takes you home?
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
hahahaha classic. this is why you are going to a college with a hospital right next to it
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
