OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Dude, I'm so high in the forest and I think I'm in a bear den.
You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
Just met a guy who has been in college for 7 years and still classified as a junior. Then watched him shotgun 10 beers. Found my new hero
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
You tried to impress her by kicking the 5th floor button in the elevator, but you ended up kicking everything from 3 to 11. Then you said, "pretty accurate, huh ladies?"
Nothing wrong with a few meaningless hookups. Keeps the mind occupied and the body satisfied
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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