i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
we gave some random guy a shot for shoveling our sidewalk.
random question: do you know anywhere in the tri-state that has elephant racing? this is a work related question.
you asked the janitor if you could ride his floor cleaner.
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
college stoner meal of the day: microwaved nutrigrain bars
He has an intense fear that my cat will attack his balls while we're fucking
What the hell happened to my hand?
Well, you got in a fight with a cabbie while jaywalking, but we got you to walk away. The problem was 80 blocks away, when you punched a parked taxi for "running you over".
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I don't think I can get drunk, high or horny enough to even consider that
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Never thought I’d use my computer science degree for teledildonics, but here I am
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