I was hooking up with him in my car, he wouldn't stop with my nipples, I had to literally beat him off of me. He kept groaning too while he was doing it. Sick.
Mommy issues
sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
HE KEEPS WALKING AWAY. IT'S LIKE HE DOESN'T EVEN LIKE FRIES. WTF.
Suuuuuuper drunk and just sang fuck her gently to the chiminea. I'm in bad shape.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
Also, the drinking age in Japan is 20. At what point in the sky am I allowed to start downing alcohol?
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
Discovery: bouncers seem to get really upset about fire
Just taxi'd to the airport holding a zip lock bag of my own vomit. Bachelorette success.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
How dare you not respond to me after opening up a picture of my bare breasts
That is priceless. You walk into her house, fuck her husband and demand Chinese food. Your an inspiration to us all.
Randomize
