no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
I was 10 minutes late leaving for lunch today because I couldn't lose a boner. It is impossible to tuck it when your shirt is tucked in...gotta quit facebook stalking hot chicks at work
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
No. I either had a 6 minute orgasm or I had so many I lost count. I'm still not sure.
I don't know what to think. Also, I decided to take a bath...sorry in advance if I flood the bathroom.
I hate being the only medical professional in the group. I always end up patching you guys or being the DD when I'm on call. I have problems I need to drown in booze too...
I'm going to be drunk and braless all weekend. Let the festivities begin!
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
We drunkenly made out once four years ago and then he immediately vomited and honestly I've never gotten over him
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
