i just walked passed a table of guys by myself.. they looked @ me talked and then yelled 7
id pin you as more of an 8
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Fuck positive energy. I choose drinking instead,
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
do you know how hard it is to pee with a pumpkin in the toilet ?
Just sayin. I pissed on his couch, and ruined his stove. If he's not mad, we're partying there every weekend...
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I also like to call Halloween "Mystery Fuck Day"
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Tabs I had open this morning: "15 hedgehogs with things that look like hedgehogs" and an unexplored google search for "how do I express my love of tacos"
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
be right there i have to get my cape
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
