ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
Revelation of the day. Bulimia is dumb. Anorexia is easier.
You suck.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
Showerbowl immediately followed by pullups naked. I feel like fucking Tarzan
Would I waste your time for mediocre porn?
Anywho, an ostrich attacked me today. Fucking useless pieces of shit birds.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My doctor said I can only have one drink at a time, ever, from now on. My life has officially started its decline.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
For a second I thought he was going to give me an intervention
You can't give interventions in a bar!
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize