i don't have fun when you have fun. i have embarrassment, fear, and significantly less cash in my wallet.
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
Apparently I was holding on to a pizza crust for hours last night.
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
She was mad I came so fast. I was like, It's the Olympics! Fastest time wins! We can train you in the offseason.
I fill condoms, not promises.
One day we'll be rich enough to go to rehab. Until then, fuck it.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
He took a picture of me to show his boss why he was late...Is that a compliment or not?
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
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