This may sound mean but have u ever just sat in class and look at some of the the people and think how disappointed their parents must be
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
She gave me a BJ with my hoodie on. it was like i was blowing myself.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
If I wasn't planning on spend the rest of my life with you I wouldn't send you so many nudes, so fucking appreciate it
You ran outside mistaken the snow for sand and started screaming "WHERES TH BEACH"
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