Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
Who knew that being in a committed relationship is the same thing as forced celibacy? Did not sign up for this.
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Nm. Exausted and my teeth just fell out again
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
Your exhaustion is probably due to your rampant sexual urges and the fact that you live the same life as a raccoon.
So really what you're asking for is an allowance to not have sex on our futon.
Ok I'm drunk as fuck already at 529 and this waitress started flirting with me, I wanna bang her for acknowledging my existence
The NSA quit spying on phones. I'm sending you SO MANY dick pics.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
