the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
he told me not be awkward when his girlfriend comes tomorrow. and then he made out with me
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
sex, shower, sex, ice cream sandwiches?
I need to find parents that want to take care of a grown adult. I'm sure there's a website out there for that. Like a sugar daddy but sugar parents.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
Randomize
