if you call bong hits and onion rings a party, then yeah
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
We need a plan...
Find random men. Use them as sexual objects. There's our plan.
i'm forwarding you the dirty picture of that fat girl that likes me sent . i feel like since youre my best friend you should puke in your mouth too .
$100 bras are my way of telling my boobs that I love and appreciate them, and all the metaphorical doors they have opened for me.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
I cried singing "call me maybe" on the way home from the bar. What the fuck
You'd think the dry cleaners next door would be less judgmental for as much business as my theme parties bring them.
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
Of all the things that can be stripped of me i'll be damned if it's my vanity
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
I told the person I was on the phone with to hold on while I looked for my phone. I think it's time to stop doing dabs.
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
Randomize
