true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
He ate me out. It was like watching him trying to win a pie eating contest
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
So I've been thinking about this, and I've decided my bed is magic. Every time I change the sheets, a new boy is in my bed. I own the Sheets of Dreams-if I change them, they will come.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
I wanted to get all my legit stuff out, but then I decided I didn't trust drunk me with my own things
Good decision.
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
So he came on my stomach this morning and I totally forgot about it until after you poured that body shot.
Masturbating with Lord of the Rings on was not how I planned my afternoon going but here I am.
My New Years resolution is to not hook up with random guys.
Mine is to not hook up with anyone who has a kid.
Randomize
