It was awkward until we both realized our obsessions with harry potter and sangrias were the same. Now were in love.
You need tk get a life and stop texting me about fictional characters. I don't give a shit.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
bouncer thought i was tryin to get the license plate numbers of strippers to stalk them. I had to go show him where I threw up to get back in.
Thru out the entire phone conversation I went from thinking: he's making a gay come-on, to he's trying to sell me drugs, before realizing he was offering me a job with an internet company. Things are gonna be awkward in class this week.
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
My dad just gifted me an alaskan flag he stole from the govenor's mansion. He said it was to hang on the wall at 3316, to start a morning ritual. Then he mimed kegstands and vomiting. Senior year will be epic.
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
I'm so confused as to where the sexual euphemisms end and the drinking starts
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
Any residual attraction has just been ruthlessly murdered by that mustache.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
