And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
announcing that you were the mayor of bjtown got their attention.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
They think its so cute and admirable that I learned French. BITCH HAVE YOU NEVER HEARD OF GOOGLE TRANSLATE? sexting foreign bitches, there's an app for that
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
I bought Plan B for the first time and an interview outfit today. You could say my life is improving.
His girlfriend left him for the pizza guy. I am not fucking kidding.
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
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