It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
I'm pretty sure we put the facepaint on during whippets
I wasn't hungover this morning. My head just hurt because someone tried to suction cup a dildo to my forehead.
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Randomize
