is your mom at the bar?
Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
Our relationship is like that beach boys song "help me Rhonda" and I'm fucking Rhonda. And Rhondas's the whore in case you've never heard it.
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I feel like i got beat with a pillowcase full of tequila shots.
He told me he's not in to anal. I need to marry him, ASAP.
The last thing I remember is teaching our waffle house waitress to do the stanky leg and promising the grill cook we would come see him at his other job.
We're stoned and watching little Einstein videos. Come. Over. Now.
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
please don't forget about the bread in the toilet i am absolutely not dealing with that
He went down on me while I was on the phone with my grandma.
Such a big mess for such a small penis
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