I'm not going to blow you while you look at fish on the internet.
I wish I has some fucking Fairy God Parents, I want a kit kat so bad.
why are there post-it notes all around the apartment labeled where you guys had sex and in what position
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I'm more impressed with the spaghetti smoothie at the present moment.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
He acted like he was sleep fucking because I woke up to him screwing me in the middle of the night and he had is eyes closed and was mumbling things the whole time and wouldn't respond to me.
Is that even possible?
I called him by the wrong name to test him and he instantly stopped, rolled over and acted like he was still sleeping...I think he might break up with me tomorrow.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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