I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You straddled the banister and fell down the stairs, then proceeded to crawl back up them, I think you need to lay down
Just so you know, my new pet parrot tried to bond sexually with me today. That is what Google told me. I'm not sure of its gender.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Fuck off I wasn't that drunk. I was still able to toss froot loops in the air and catch them in my mouth.
And in your bra. It was quite entertaining.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
You went into the bathroom, got in the tub with a pillow, yelled "this isn't as comfortable as it looks in the movies" then passed out
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
If I look at him, he starts sobbing. Please come get him; he's scaring the cats.
Randomize
