Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Me= Watching Ferngully. My neighbor= Having really loud sex including multiple orgasms
Oh God
I know, but the worst part is I'm not really sure which I'd rather be doing. Feel free to re-evaluate our friendship
Today let's steal peoples pets out of their backyards and leave ransom notes
i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
i feel like my life has become an afroman song and idk whether i should be sad about that or not
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK FUCKABLE IN AN ALL NEON SPANDEX JUMPSUIT?
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
My roommate said I banged on the wall and said, "this dude eats pussy like a champ."
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Well, he was practically tripping over his dick to get to me so I'd say my new dress was successful
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