i just won a 100 dollar gift card to walmart in a karaoke contest...i love kentucky
So he asked me last night if I would cheer him on while he masturbated...
i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
So... 5th graders can't whisper for shit, but apparently I have an awesome rack.
Haha. Niice.
Yeah, I didn't know whether to be shocked or flattered.
both.
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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