i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
Her bacne/racne was so bad it was like having sex with bubble wrap.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
How does "I'm not drinking tonight" turn into body shots?
The lifeguard told us we had to move Mike before the tide came in when he passed out.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
Adulthood is punching a guy in the face when you find out he's trying to fuck you and he's married instead of fucking him regardless and believing anything he says
I had to cum in my sink.
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