the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
found out what b.m.t stands for.
what did you think?
bread, meat, tomatoes, but then i realized that could be practically any sub.
I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
I hate babysitting girls whose boobs are bigger than mine.
Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
Fuck a-yeah! I just found a wine key. Let 'Don't Fuck With Me Friday' commence.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
What is it with the dog running away when we have epic hangovers
I was Jaeger weird. I was rolling on the floor pretending to be an Olympic gymnast and my name was Gina
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can empathize with sociopaths, serial killers, demons, gods, and monsters....straight white males are literally the only barrier to my 100% empathy rate. I don't get it.
You have a husband. I have a bag full of electronics. This, is the single life.
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
He was talking about his friends deceased ferret and I still managed to orgasm.
Now THAT is dedication!
Randomize
