i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
I knew you were drunk when you poured scotch on a croissant and ate it.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i have officially banned the recreational use of bayonets.
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
Sex and sushi don't even sound good right now... I might be on my death bed. To my Liz, I leave my extensive movie collection and my drinking supplies. To Olive I leave my car. Cause every Scottish terrier needs a 2010 Camaro.
Thanks for the Beyonce article. In other news, I just passed a man with the state of Florida tattooed on his face.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Life if anyone rolls up to my funeral with shitty weed get them out of there
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
We fucked while The Odyssey played in the background. Homer would be proud.
Dad is celebrating turning 45 by being drunk in a department store before two o'clock.
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
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