ok shes still asleep, should i pee on her and say she did it herself? and by the time you respond to this ill probably have already made the decision
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
no really all good couples have similar hair colors!
Hello you've reached the get a clue corp. Our business hours are from take a hint to figure it out, eastern standard time. If you prefer to leave a message, don't, call back when you're not crazy, fat, and annoying.
the gays at disneyland are vicious
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
She made this little rubber cap thing that looks like a brain to go on my dick. She calls it a "penis cap". Industrial design students are weird...
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
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