babies were throwing up all over the place
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
Oh my god I forgot there were Band-Aids on my nipples
These fuzzy pants work great for sleeping, taking an exam, getting baked and watching the hobbit. I guess i'm not changing pants for 72 hours.
what's the proper way to say, "I'm sorry for puking on you and your bed mid hook up then going downstairs and fucking your roommate because you locked me out of your room completely naked...?"
PUT YOUR FRESHLY SHAVED MEXICAN POON ON THAT BEARD. NOW.
the bad thing about being great at twerking is that I'm powerless to stop myself from doing it when I'm drunk and in public.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I just need a fucking pair of pants. Is that too much to ask for?
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
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