i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
that speech was about as successful as her performance in twilight
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
When I was with my girlfriend I was averaging 1 random hookup a week. In the 2 months I've been single I haven't got any. I think I need her back.
Then you screamed "fuck her like shes not your sister tonight" at the people walking down the road.
You are the worst substitute drug dealer ever
He's the kind you'd bring home and you'd wake up and all your food would be half eaten on the kitchen floor and all your socks would be missing.
This guy needs to come out; I can feel him sucking my dick from across the room.
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
