She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
What wine goes with Cap'n Crunch?
She used to be a real nice person. Now she's just a dick sucking machine
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
And then my night got REAL pukey
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
