Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
WHAT IF you could get pizza delivered to you IN YOUR CAR while driving somewhere. Like moving roadside service.
You're High aren't you?
Sooooo high
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
Youre attempt to ruin my night by putting Date Rape by Sublime on my sex playlist failed. She was into it.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
Erin was right. There were bees at the after hours.
Of course his mom thinks you're nice, she doesn't know you have sex for cheeseburgers
One time!! I like sex and food....
Randomize
