we were having sex in the bathroom when his aunt knocked on the door
and rather than go out and meet her, i climbed out the window. so now she thinks he was masturbating and moaning his own name in a really girly voice
he said that weed should be legal but that particular bong shouldn't be. i stared at a clock for an hour and a half after i ripped. so logically, i completely agree.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I found you walking along the street hammered. You walked up said hi and handed me a beer.
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Blacked out and showed everyone my nudes. They toasted to my nudes, and I got an outstanding ovation.
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
Laying on my driveway in my pajamas in the sun having my severe hangover cigarette, and the daycare house across the street is having playtime in the yard! I believe I'm currently being what's known as a "bad example!"
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
They were shocked that I could handle my liquor so well. I'm half Irish and half Russian. This is what I'm made for
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