they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I know it's pride week, but your asshole is just never supposed to taste like banana.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
So he says to my dad "I'll pull out of your daughter but I'm not going to apologize". Yea, my night was fun.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
Before you jump in that vagina remember there's a reason we call her Infectonator.
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
