I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
i'm getting the "you hooked up with my friends" speech from him. i'm returning with the "gotta keep my quota up" speech
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
Seriously, dude... You knows its bad when you gag on her nipple.
so the photographer said "let's get a picture of the cousins" so we posed together, and then he said " lets get a picture of the couples" So we posed together.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I couldn't do it. You can't break up after that many orgasms. It's physically impossible.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
there's people who respect me enough not to bang on my bed and i think that's beautiful
Just walked out of the train bathroom after having sex and got a round of applause from the passengers. Definitely the best part of the trip.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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