One girl and one boy is just not enough.
he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
Minivans at bars can only lead to bad things.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
she told me i should dip my dick in chocolate and then let her blow me since it was her 2 favorite things. weird or my new valentine for this year?
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
new rule: cockblock me if I have had over a fifth of jack. no matter what.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Shoot me. Guy hitting on me with a beaver on his head. Says it is his spirit animal.
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
What the hell man, you basically stole my girlfriend with a bucket of KFC.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
your mission the party friday: cockblock me at ALL costs. I've cheated on my boyfriend twice. I feel like three times would be crossing some sort of line...
and no, I don't care how how hot he is
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