i may or may not be hanging out with a boxer who has a daughter tonight. and he just spelled "honestly" like "onistly". He has prob taken a few too many hits to the head but he's hot at least.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
The savings from $3 shots still doesn't add up to plan-b
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Is this a genuine concern or are you just high?
JUST BECAUSE I'M HIGH DOESN'T MEAN ITS NOT GENUINE CONCERN.
I'm just so happy. I go to sleep and when I wake up there will be chocolate milk and penis.
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
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