haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
I woke up to them arguing over who would get my morning wood. Oh, and I was dressed as Santa.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
I may wear a condom to jerk-off tomorrow knowing that my hand has touched surfaces in this bar.
This is the point in ur life where u should realize there's nothing left but a spiral of shame
I should but I don't. All I see is an escalator of success
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
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