She was like a white Oprah, but with less conviction.
yeah but I shoulda known it\'d be bad when he start rubbing my pubic bone instead of the clit! Awkkkkwarddd
how the fuck does easy mac keep making itself at 3am when i'm wasted? what is this phenomenon?
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
well after this past weeked you can expect to see me on maury playing a little game called "who's the father"
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Dad says your scarf isnt fooling anyone and u look like a douchebag, its literally the perfect time to tell him your gay
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Is her dick bigger than yours?
I don't think I used nearly enough fucks in my reply to convey the level of fuck him.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Randomize
