I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Had no idea what his name was when I woke up. Went through his desk, found his tax records. Ben. And loaded.
Carpeing THE FUCK out of that diem
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey, I'm off work. Wanna take a metric fuckton of adderall, possibly get daydrunk, and get my hair cut?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
She asked for references to decide whether she wanted to have sex with me. And she was serious.
The main motivators in my life are my sex drive and spite
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
You ruined the universe
Randomize