his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
i just hate vaginas for liking penis's insside them
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
i was taking the test and had to adjust my boner and my teacher thought i was cheating or something
The kid taped his penis down so that he wouldn't get a boner while dancing with girls. Oh these middle school man whores never cease to amaze me.
he burped in my vagina and tried to deny it...
Im shirtless eating a burrito. How urgent is this?
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
Just want the two of you to know, I went to a golf tournament today. Respectable, expensive… Flipped the golf cart. Seriously, I'm 40. What the fuck?
I can't even be mad at customs in houstons airport anymore for missing my flight and having to stay overnight. Within an hour of meeting we did it at her place. Her last word being "glad I could show you real southern hospitality". I'm definitely coming back here someday
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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